In an attempt to either tell everyone who was pissed off at the selfish arrogant self serving way he handled his free agency that they should go scratch, or to rebuild his image, LeBron comes off looking more like the arrogant prick that very few thought existed. If this is an attempt at redemption or justifying his actions, it flops worse than Bill Laimbeer used to do back in the day on a touch foul under the basket.

If it is something else, then he deserves the scorn and ridicule and the millions of people rooting for him to lose/fail/fall on his face/blow out his knee/whatever else. Asking questions to the viewer like “should I stop listening to my friends? They’re my friends!!” gets right to the problem – sometimes friends don’t make the best people to ask for advice on huge decisions that they have no frame of reference or context for – and also was one of the reasons why his decisions and actions pissed off so many in the first place.

Asking whether he should “be what you want me to be” is insincere and crappy. Nobody was asking him to be something or someone else. Just not an asshole who crafted an image for years, only to shatter it himself in the most self serving way.

Asking whether he should care that he is called a “ring chaser” is telling – yes he should care. The fact that he so quickly and easily decided to become a sidekick to someone who already won a ring without him shows that he isn’t “the chosen one” that he calls himself, nor is he ever going to be “the king” that his nickname implied.

And so on….lather, rinse, repeat.

Fact remains that LeBron has done nothing to change anyone’s thoughts of him – at least not for the better. The ridiculous celebration on Miami with Wade and Bosh before any games were played further cemented why people were so pissed off in the first place.

This ad will only reinforce that. And no amount of rings will change that – at least not until he wins without being someone else’s sidekick.

Whatever the reason, you realize that the relationship has to end. For better or worse you have a right to be happy and she shouldn’t have to live with a guy who sees her as something he’s settling for. You have all kinds of misgivings, but you’ve thought about it long and hard and, while it’s going to hurt like hell, it’s the right thing to do.

Now you have to figure out the best way to break up. You know that face-to-face is what she deserves. But a telephone call would be easier on you, providing you with some distance from the pain. An e-mail would be easier still. And you know that sometimes kids even break up with a text message.

Finally, you figure out what to do. “Honey, flip on Lifetime at 9pm Eastern. I have something I want to tell you.” When she tunes in, you announce to her, and to an audience of millions, that you’re dumping her and marrying a sexy Cubana chick from South Florida.

That’s exactly what happened last night, folks. Metaphorically speaking.

I have no problems with LeBron James’ decision to leave the Cleveland Cavaliers. In fact, I’d probably have criticized him had he decided to stay. Pro sports is a business, and when you’re gifted with all-planet talent the likes of which nobody has ever seen before, you need to be in the game for one reason: to win. We see athletes all the time signing for the big dollars with teams that have zero chance of ever winning a damn thing (you know, like Joe Johnson just did), and when that happens there’s no reason for you or me or anyone else to ever take them seriously again. They passed up the chance to be a competitor and instead chose to be an entertainer, taking the man’s cash and putting on a show that most nights is the moral equivalent of the WWE. Sure, you’re playing, but you’re playing for eighth. You’re not even one of the top losers.

Good for you. Now, pass me the remote.

Let’s be clear: LeBron tried. He threw his heart and soul into trying to win a title for his hometown. Up until the Celtics series, anyway. By the end, he had proven conclusively that he couldn’t get the job done…by himself. While it’s not fair to characterize Mo Williams, Antawn Jamison, Delonte “New Daddy” West, a way-over-the-hill Shaq and Sideshow Andy Varejao as a second-rate pickup squad, it’s also unreasonable to look at the supporting cast that Cavs management provided Bron and conclude that he should have won with it. If he had, it would have been one of the most epic accomplishments in American professional sports history.

Lately the picture has gotten even bleaker. When you looked at where the franchise is talent-wise today, and where it seemed likely to be in the coming years, it was hard to see how things were going to get much better. With LeBron, the team is always going to be too good to land a top draft pick. It doesn’t have the chips you need to trade for that top-tier sidekick. And as this free agency period made brutally clear, ain’t nobody coming to Cleveland of their own free will. Not Amar’e. Not Boozer. Chris Bosh wasn’t going to Cleveland even if they guaranteed him $120M and threw in a pony. The sad truth is that Cleveland isn’t a destination. It’s the place you go when you don’t have options. I don’t say this to be mean. I have wonderful friends from that neck of the woods, and I know what it is myself to grow up in and love a place that’s not exactly everybody’s idea of a killer Plan A. Ain’t no free agents dying to go to Winston-Salem, NC, either.

So whatever we may say – and we’re going to have things to say, aren’t we? – let’s at least admit that this relationship didn’t fail because LeBron James didn’t try. He was in love. Madly in love. And he gave his heart unconditionally for almost seven years.

But. They say that crisis reveals character. When the end came, LeBron taught us a lot about the man he really is inside. You watched the man for seven years, watched his passion for the game and his obvious love of his community. You watched his ability to elevate his teammates, making them better than they’d ever be without him. And you’d have been justified in concluding, probably, that he’s a class act. Smart business guy, too. There’s a lot there to admire, as athletes go. He didn’t act like an entitled prima donna, at least not where the public could see it.

But when it came time to move on, he behaved not just in the worst way imaginable, he behaved in a way that was worse than you could have imagined. He didn’t break up face to face, like a man. He didn’t call her. He didn’t even opt for an e-mail or text message. No. He used his status and his leverage as The Chosen One^® to dump her on television.

This would be indefensibly gutless and immature under any circumstances, but let’s remember that this particular girlfriend hasn’t exactly been lucky in love. Willie Mays broke her heart. John Elway used to take some kind of perverse glee in dragging her out in front of all her friends every year around the holidays and treating her like a public urinal. And what Art Modell did to her…well, it’s a good thing he got out of town where her brothers couldn’t get their hands on him, isn’t it?

A lot of people have a unkind words for LeBron James right about now. Drew Magary went nuclear on him at Deadspin the other day. Cleveland fans burned his laundry. And Cavs owner Dan Gilbert went positively Alanis Morissette. (If you haven’t seen this full statement yet, you owe it to yourself. It’s the damnedest flamethrower I’ve ever seen from a sports executive.)

I’m personally not going to get emotional about it, but I can’t really find much in Magary’s rant to quibble with. As for Gilbert, well, he had seven years to give Bron what he needed and for whatever reason he wasn’t able to get the job done. I understand that he’s mad and that he feels betrayed, but I also get that he’s a multi-millionaire who just lost more money than most of us will ever see. When all is said and done, much of the responsibility for James leaving lies with the failures of the owner and the people he put in charge of personnel and basketball operations. I’m sure Gilbert hopes that his unprecedented display of righteous outrage will cause everyone to lose sight of that fact.

In the final analysis, there are a couple of things I’ll remember about what we saw on ESPN last night. First, it was arguably the most despicable public relations gaffe we’ve ever seen from an athlete. We don’t need to wait until his playing days are over. LeBron James goes into the Punk Hall of Fame today.

Second, I can’t help feeling heartbroken for the jilted girlfriend. I imagine a woman, sitting on a slightly worn couch in a living room that could use a fresh a coat of paint. She’s not the prettiest girl in the world and she doesn’t live in a sexy neighborhood like South Beach. But she has a great heart and she damned sure deserves better than she’s gotten from the men in her life. She’s staring at the TV set, shellshocked, sobbing uncontrollably as the man she’s given everything to matter-of-factly explains to the world why another woman is better for him than she is.

She can’t help wondering – didn’t I at least deserve a phone call?

Reason 1: The Money

Quite frankly, if it was only about the NBA contract, LeBron would have resigned with Cleveland and taken the extra tens of millions of dollars. But it isn’t nearly about the tens of millions for playing in the NBA – it is the additional hundreds of millions (or more) in endorsements, other marketing and other deals. So to that end, what can make LeBron the most money overall? Endorsements, business deals and “branching out” to set himself up as a global icon. Much of this revolves around the money and some revolves around the fame – which I’ll get into in a minute.

New York would make the most sense just looking at the opportunity to make money outside of endorsements, even though a name as big as LeBron’s would make tons of money either way – especially if he were to sign with Chicago. But the “Russian Mark Cuban”, as the Nets new owner has been called is a multi multi billionaire and can make LeBron a billionaire with the various business deals he is involved in. Jay-Z (who LeBron loves) can do the same.

Reason 2: The Fame

Yes, LeBron is the biggest or one of the biggest names in the NBA, and yes, everyone is waiting to see where he goes. But Prokhorov and Jay-Z can make LeBron an international icon – not just here in the US. I don’t think that any other team or owner can do that; outside of what LeBron can otherwise do for himself. Granted, this isn’t the 2nd most important reason, but it is a reason.

Reason 3: The Players and Coach

While the Bulls probably offer the best supporting cast right now, that may change in a few years (see below). The Knicks have an intriguing pair of players in Danilo Gallinari and (if he stays) David Lee as well as cap space next year for someone like Carmelo Anthony or another big name. The Cavaliers can add another piece or two as they have a very solid core and can add pieces as LeBron sees fit. And the Nets have Brook Lopez (one of the best centers in the Eastern Conference), Devin Harris and a top 3 draft choice, plus a ton of cap space as well.

On the coaching side, Avery Johnson is a very respected coach and makes the Nets attractive. D’Antoni is more of a plus but has one nagging question that most will never know the answer to, and the Bulls’ Tom Thibodeau is a new coach for the Bulls but pretty respected in terms of defense.

Reason 4: The Owner

With respect to the Bulls, in a couple of years, they have to pony up for big time contracts for Joakim Noah and Derrick Rose. Knowing that Bulls owner Reinsdorf is a bastard and has shown in the past (post-Jordan/Pippen) to trade big name players instead of paying out the big contracts. Now that may change with LeBron, but who knows.

As for the Knicks, let’s just leave it as Dolan is a moron.

Cleveland’s situation is a mess, although LeBron could probably get the owner to do whatever he wants.

The Nets have an owner who would spend countless millions on marketing alone, let alone putting a winner on the court year in and year out. For example, someone I work with told me earlier today that the Nets put a huge banner up across the street Madison Square Garden with Jay-Z and Prokhorov’s faces on it – right in the Knicks’ backyard. There is little doubt that he would be like Cuban and Steinbrenner when it comes to dedication to consistent winning. Oh yeah, and Jay-Z is a minority owner as well.

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So of course, there are things in favor of LeBron signing with the Bulls, the Knicks, the Nets and the Cavs – and there may even be other teams in the mix (like Miami but I don’t think that happens for many many reasons). But all in all, the Nets give LeBron the bright lights and big city of NY (and Brooklyn is his favorite Borough), the worldwide fame, the billions in annual income, a solid core, a good coach and a chance at multiple titles.

And with the free agent period due to start in a week, the “where will they go” stories will certainly be plentiful. But one thing that is getting a lot LESS exposure is the 2011 free agent class – one that may not have the biggest of the big names, but certainly Carmelo Anthony, Tony Parker, David West and Kevin Durant are substantial prizes for whatever team can sign or resign them.

One of the biggest mistakes that a team can do (and I fully expect the Knicks to do this as they have proven to be so adept as screwing up over the past decade, making it all but impossible for a fan like myself to stay excited) is spend money just because they have it. On this end, only Wade and Bosh are the game changers, while Boozer, Johnson and Stoudemire are excellent players but aren’t the number one player on a championship team. If the Knicks let David Lee go (one of the most underrated great players in the NBA), only to sign Stoudemire and Johnson (or even Bosh and Johnson), that could be a huge mistake. Why not sign Bosh, keep Lee, trade for a Tony Parker and make a run next year at one of the other big name FAs? But this is the Knicks we are talking about.

I still think that LeBron and Wade stay put. Even though there are compelling arguments for LeBron to go to the Bulls, I’m not sure why he would want to forego all of the millions and the adulation of his hometown to live in the constant shadow of Michael Jordan – a city where “only” 3 titles would be a failure. What makes more sense, and of course the front office upheaval throws a bit of a wrench into this, would be for LeBron to resign with Cleveland, let their 7 unrestricted free agents walk next year and either sign Tony Parker (if he isn’t traded before then) or another point guard to take some pressure off, and get another big man (who isn’t as slow as Shaq) up front. Bonus read: Simmons on LeBron’s decision of “winning, loyalty or immortality”.

Over all, a team like the Nets may be in the best position long term, although the Bulls have tons of cap room and a great core. With Brook Lopez as a budding superstar, a new owner, the third pick tonight, a new arena and gobs of cap money as well, why not take this 2-year approach and put together a deep and stacked team?

My guess, the Knicks crap out with 2 more max deals that don’t make sense (unless Bosh is one of them), LeBron and Wade stay put. Just because there is money to burn doesn’t mean it all has to be spend this year. A bad contract can set back a team for years (just see the Knicks once again). But then again, this is why it will be the NBA’s silly season.