Final score: Chelsea 2, Barcelona 2, with Chelsea advancing to the finals in Munich on a 3-2 aggregate score (the Blues beat Barca 1-0 in London last week).

The guys blogging the ESPN GameCast concluded thusly: “One of the best games of football ever.”

My response? Well, depends on what you mean when you say “best.” I might have a little trouble going that far, because in my mind a great match involves two great teams slugging it out. And as much as I love my Blues, this particular Chelsea team is a) old, b) injured, and c) nowhere NEAR as good as Barca. On paper, anyway.

But it was nonetheless one of those remarkable moments that illustrates the value of coaching, of strategy, of fanatical commitment to tactical execution and an equally amazing capability to overcome adversity. If anybody ever asks you for an example of the value of teamwork, you show them the playback of this match.

• One of your starting center backs was out with an injury.
• His replacement, who has played beautifully in recent games, goes down with an injury very early on.
• Then the team’s other starting center back, the captain the backbone and the soul of the team, takes what may be the dumbest, most inexcusable red card I have ever seen by a player at his level in this big a game. It was truly mind boggling.

So there they were. Down to ten men. On the road. In one of the most inhospitable environments anywhere in the sporting world. Against one of the two or three best teams in the game and the defending champions of the most prestigious club competition on the planet. Minus their three top-choice defensive center backs. With Barca’s stingy ball-control offense dominating possession something like 73% to 27% and outshooting the Blues 23-7. And, at one point, down 2-0.

If you scripted it, nobody would believe you. It was Rocky. It was 300. It was Braveheart. I have honestly never seen anything like it, with the possible exception of the aforementioned US hockey victory over the mighty Soviets in 1980. The Villanova and NC State NCAA hoops championships, which most Americans are familiar with, don’t come close. Kurt Gibson’s pinch-hit jack against Dennis Eckersley? Multiply that minute of adrenaline by 90.

In the end, I guess it comes down to how you define “best.” If your terms demand everyone’s consensus top teams (say the Lakers vs. the Celtics in the ’80s) then no, this flawed Chelsea team had to park a bus in front of the goal and pray for luck. Which they got, in spades – time and again, over the two matches, Barca rattled the woodwork (we were joking during the game that Chelsea should give the captain’s armband to the post); one goal today was disallowed due to offsides (a good call, but a close one); and everyone’s candidate for greatest player in the world, Lionel Messi, somehow contrived to gank a penalty. How do you say “shoulda coulda woulda” in Catalan?

However, if your definition of best allows for this level of one-sidedness and places a premium on sheer human drama, then yeah, today’s match was genuinely epic, and you’ll be hearing it talked about with awe for years to come (especially if Chelsea goes on to win in Munich against Bayern or Real Madrid, a question that will be decided tomorrow). They’ll be replaying Ramires’ cheeky first-half break-away chip-shot goal over Victor Valdes for the next century. No, that isn’t hype – it was a goal that would have made Pelé proud.

I don’t know that I have ever heard so much noise in a bar. (Well, technically, half a bar. The Barcelona end was kind of quiet.) The British Bulldog (the Denver home of the Chelsea Supporters Club) surely must have bounced when Fernando Torres put the capper on it. My friend Raf Noboa said there’s a Spanish barbershop on the floor below his office (in DC - Columbia Heights, by 14th St. & Park Rd., if you care about the specifics), full of Real Madrid supporters. “When Torres scored, the whole building literally shook.”

I have already said goodbye to many of my friends, because if the final is this thrilling I won’t live through it.

This post originally appeared on Scholars and Rogues.

Despite an appalling first half, the Americans certainly had their chances to draw even and win the game late, capped by sub Steve Wondolowski swallowing his tongue and club-footing what amounted to a layup attempt into the third deck at the 80:00 mark.

The lingering bitterness, though, has less to do with this particular choke job than it does the overall failure to achieve under current head coach Bob Bradley. Last week, in a tournament tune-up, World Cup champions Spain made the US look like a second-tier rec league outfit. You can sort of accept that, I guess. Spain is the best team in the world (aside, perhaps, from the Barcelona club squad that a majority of them play for) and the US, well, the US isn’t the best team in the world. But tonight? The Panamanians aren’t chopped liver, but I don’t exaggerate when I say that if the two teams played ten times, the worst case scenario should be nine American wins and a tie.

So why the continued malaise of the US national team? I’m not unrealistic. Bob Bradley isn’t the only thing standing between us and five straight World Cup titles. On the contrary. For starters, in most of the nations in the world soccer is the first choice sport, whereas in the US a majority of our top athletes pursue football, basketball and baseball. This isn’t to demean the talents of our national team players, some of whom are truly exceptional athletes by any standard. But it’s a numbers game, and if you triple the size of the player pool you’re going to wind up with more world class players. Period.

Second, there’s the related question of talent development. Brazilian and Italian and Spanish and English and German (and apparently Panamanian) kids play like they were born with the ball on their feet. They can control and dominate the ball in the attacking third in ways that the US simply can’t. Watch Spain. They can trot an army of players out there who can pitch a tent and camp at the top of the 18 while knocking the ball around and you can’t get it off them seemingly no matter what you do. Three of them and five of you and it still feels like you’re outnumbered.

When you make this sort of skills development at an early age your alpha priority you’re more likely to wind up with Xavis and Iniestas instead of…well, I don’t want to name names. Watch the games and draw your own conclusions.

So it isn’t all Bradley’s fault. Not by a long shot.

However, the American talent base is improving noticeably. More and more of our top players are playing meaningful roles on solid teams in Europe and our domestic league, MLS, is providing younger players a viable forum to develop. It isn’t the top feeder league in the world yet, but it’s better than it was even five years ago and it continues to improve. Bradley has more talent to work with than any coach in US national team history.

But he doesn’t seem to have a clear idea about how to use it. I’m not even going to get into his misplaced faith in Robbie Findley, which turned into the saddest, most maddening mini-narrative in the whole of last summer’s World Cup campaign. I am going to mention his steadfast refusal to even attempt a formation with an attacking midfield, though, despite the presence of Clint Dempsey, who has proven (in the best league in the world, I should note) that he can make things happen from both midfield and forward positions. Is he Kaka? Maybe not, but he could pressure the defense in ways that would create opportunities for the team’s other attackers. And he also seems to have some chemistry with defensive midfielder Michael Bradley, who can dangerous when he roams forward.

We can argue the details all night – meet me down at the British Bulldog and we’ll do just that, in fact – but the bottom line is that Bob Bradley’s teams manage to consistently under-perform their talent level. I don’t think Bradley is a bad coach and I’m not drooling for the blood of a good man. I’m simply suggesting that the team has gone as far as it can with him at the helm. Disagree? Fine. What specific evidence can you point to that suggests things are getting better or that we’re about to turn a corner? I’ll take anything you got.

Based on what I see right now, I’d predict that we’ll qualify for the 2014 Cup as the second place team in our region (behind Mexico) and, unless we get a favorable draw, will fail to advance to the knockout rounds. Which, if you’re keeping tabs, is a step back.

Meanwhile, there’s an international coach out there who has proven he can outperform his talent. Last I heard he lived in California. I don’t know that he wants the job, but if I’m Sunil Gulati, president of the US Soccer Federation, I’m going to pick up the phone and find out. Tonight.

Bob Bradley, you have my thanks for all you’ve done. But please, Sunil, can we give Jurgen Klinsmann a call and at least inquire about his availability?

In case you haven’t been tracking along, FIFA, the governing body of world soccer, has been swamped with corruption allegations of late. It began with the decision to award Copa 2022 to Qatar instead of the US. Qatar might not have things like a football infrastructure or a world-class sporting organization or, you know, stadiums, but they did have what mattered the most: a suitcase full of cash. This hasn’t been proven yet, but give it time. You knew the fix was in the instant the announcement was made, and if you didn’t you probably think Anna Nicole married that filthy rich 185 year-old geezer because he made her nethers twitchy. This doesn’t mean you’re necessarily dumb. It could just mean that you’re hopelessly romantic and a tad naïve. Of course, dumb is still a possibility. Either way.

It wasn’t just 2022, either. Russia was awarded the 2018 Cup over England and a strong combined bid by Belgium and Holland. Russia is a far more defensible choice than was Qatar, but England is nonetheless torqued off over the alleged solicitation of bribes by members of the executive committee. Investigations are afoot.

Now, two executive committee members have been suspended over soliciting bribes in the just-concluded FIFA elections. And to cap it off, the organization has re-elected Sepp Blatter as King of the Thieves Guild president for yet another term.

For the American sports fan looking for a means of comparison, we’ll summarize thusly: FIFA leadership has the moral and ethical composition of a Jim Tressel/Pete Carroll prayer breakfast.

Don’t despair, though – Blatter has a plan. Check this shit out. (And no, it isn’t an Onion story. Make sure you’re not drinking anything you don’t want sprayed all over your monitor before continuing.)

Blatter asks Henry Kissinger to clean up FIFA
June 2, 2011

FIFA president Sepp Blatter believes former US secretary of state Henry Kissinger is the man to help clean up world football’s governing body in the wake of recent corruption allegations.

Blatter, who was re-elected unopposed for a fourth term in office on Wednesday, has promised to “put FIFA’s ship back onto the right course in clear, transparent waters”.And the Swiss appears to feel that Kissinger – who was US secretary of state and national security advisor during the Vietnam War – can help improve the organisation’s transparency.

Sweet hell. Henry Fucking Kissinger?! Clean up? Transparency?! Bitch, you have got to be kidding me. A guy many credible people argue is a war criminal? Maybe he’s going to clean up FIFA like he did Vietnam. Maybe he’ll bring transparency to FIFA like he did Cambodia and Laos (and more recently, Iraq).

What kind of narco-voodoo horse tranquilizer is Sepp Blatter injecting directly into his anal glands, anyhow? Enquiring Rational minds want to know. I mean, maybe he wants Kissinger to bomb the FA? But if he does, can he be trusted not to ramp up covert bombing of the Scottish FA and the FFF?

Seriously, what could Sepp be thinking? I can’t find any concrete evidence that he’s a deranged neo-fascist (although the fact that he’s Swiss and born in the mid-’30s raises obvious questions). He’s never been institutionalized that I can tell, although he’s bound to be prone to neo-liberal sex dreams. I did find this bit, which is curious:

In the early 1970s, Blatter was elected president of the World Society of Friends of Suspenders, an organisation which tried to stop women replacing suspender belts with pantyhose.

No telling what a TSA search would shake out of that underwear drawer, yo?

In the end, all we really know, from years of empirical observation by men of intellect and sound principles, is that Sepp Blatter is a backwards-thinking baffloon whose record of ineptitude ought to disqualify him for any office more demanding than mayor of Wasilla, Alaska.

So he wants to bring in Kissinger to clean things up? Sure. Why not? Nixon is dead, Charles Manson and Jeff Skilling are in prison and that barking gongbat Chuck Colson is busy evangelizing for a New Feudalism. After them, Hank is probably the best man left.

In case you haven’t been paying attention, the owners are set to lock out the players and the two sides don’t seem terribly close to a new collective bargaining agreement. The commish is frustrated. The union has declared “war.” And the fans … well, I think most fans are sitting around thinking to themselves that the league can’t possibly be that dumb, can they? (It should be noted that the looming debacle is mainly the fault of the owners, who aren’t satisfied merely having most of the money. So we’ll have no talk about “the union and the owners.”)

If we don’t have a 2011-12 season, what are sports fans going to do? Watch bowling? Poker? Hmmm. If they’re smart, the NCAA will shift some games to Sunday to capitalize on the void, and that would be a good time.

I’ll tell you who else ought to be thinking about striding purposefully into that Sunday/Monday night vacuum: the English Premier League. For the uninitiated, the EPL is England’s top soccer flight, and it’s widely regarded as the best league in the world (yeah, a lot of Spaniards will argue this, but at best they’re tied for top honors). If you watched the World Cup last summer, a lot of those top international stars play club ball in the EPL.

Before we go any further, I know that there are some of you feeling a dire need to make sure the rest of us understand how boring soccer is not a real sport wusses French cheese-eaters nobody ever scores I’ll never watch soccer goddamned ESPN shoving that crap down our throats blah blah I’m a real man blah blah blarg…. Yes. We get it. You don’t like soccer. Thank you for offering your opinion.

Now, where was I?

I get that for many American football fans, Euro soccer (even very good Euro soccer) isn’t an acceptable substitute. I get that soccer isn’t going to be #1 in the US anytime soon, if ever. I understand that even a top EPL game wouldn’t draw anywhere near the ratings you’d get from a mid-season Steelers/Ravens slobberknocker. But this isn’t about replacing American football – it’s merely about providing sports enthusiasts with some alternatives while they’re waiting for the rich people to divvy up our money.

Soccer is, like it or not, increasing in viewer popularity here in the US.

• Over a third of the population caught some of the World Cup. Seriously, even restaurants and bars that you don’t normally associate with soccer were feckin’ zoos during the Cup.
• ESPN has made soccer coverage more of a priority (you routinely see futbol highlights in the Plays of the Day) and…
• Landon Donovan’s dramatic game-winner against Algeria, which sent the American side into the elimination rounds, was named ESPN’s Play of the Year. It was, too – if that didn’t get you out of the recliner you just don’t like sports.
• EPL ratings on ESPN2 and FSC are up and…
• December’s Manchester United/Arsenal match set a Prem viewership record in the US. That game, by the way, kicked at 5:30am here in Denver, and while the British Bulldog (local home to all things soccer) isn’t normally packed at that hour, they are open and doing a better breakfast business than most places.

ESPN has EPL broadcast rights both here and in the UK, so you can see where I’m heading: If it looks like the NFL is going to shut down next year, it makes sense for ESPN and the Premier League to have some serious talks about how they can provide alternate programming for an American audience that’s more interested in top-tier soccer than at any point in history. The sooner the planning begins, the better.

Unfortunately, the time difference tricks up the logistics. England is five hours ahead of the US East Coast, so the EPL would have to move start times back. Still, a Sunday night kick at 6pm local time would work fine as a replacement for the usual NFL early game, which kicks off at 1pm EST. I’m not sure how a 9pm London start time would go over for the Brits, but you could at least fill one Sunday slot, maybe two if you go with 11am and 2pm East Coast starts. Replacing Monday Night Football would be more difficult – would audiences who care enough about the EPL to follow it watch tape-delay? Maybe not.

I’m not proposing not a magic bullet solution by any stretch, and let’s be clear – the best solution is for the NFL’s owners to extract their heads from their asses and agree to a new CBA that the players can live with. Failing that, though, the NFL is currently swinging open a potential door of opportunity. It makes sense for ABC/ESPN to investigate a Plan B that will appeal to more viewers than the One-A-Day Earl Anthony Memorial Classic.

Not only have the Brazilians been incredibly successful, they have truly put the beautiful in The Beautiful Game, playing with a verve, a joy, an elegance that sometimes makes even the best players from other nations seem oafish by comparison. Brazilians dance where others plod.

This culture of panache is even evident in the players’ names. In Scotland, if you’re christened Archie Gemmill, then you play your career as Archie Gemmill. You may have a nickname, but you’re introduced as Archie Gemmill. However, in Brazil, the players (well, the midfielders and forwards, mostly) adopt their nicknames, and the nom de futbol becomes their actual name. (Think Madonna or Sting or Bono, or in the case of Lúcio, Cher.) And historically, these names attacked the public consciousness with every bit as much style and grace as a rampant Pelé bearing down on a slow-footed Paraguayan defender.

In Brazil, though, if you were born Edison Arantes do Nascimento, you became Pelé. Pelé: the name fairly dances on the tongue, liquid and electric and animated as a ball on the icon’s magical feet. It wasn’t just him, though. Consider some of the other player names from Brazil’s golden past:

Cafu Taffarel Djalma Santos Ronaldo Rivelino

Jairzinho Leão Bebeto Romário Zico

Tostão Zizinho Sócrates Leônidas Falcão

In Brazil, a simple laundry list of player names once read like a love poem. Still does, at times. Today’s Brazilian national team features players with names like Ronaldinho, Zé Roberto, Robinho, Daniel Alves, Thiago Silva, Adriano, Philippe Coutinho, Júlio César, Rafael, Mariano, Lúcio, Luisão, Michel Bastos, Fernandinho, Júlio Baptista, Elano, Felipe Melo, Alexandre Pato and Luís Fabiano. So the poetry is not dead.

However, the country’s football culture appears to be showing the effects of a looming name shortage, and it isn’t pretty. In some cases, the offenses are merely pedestrian. There’s Alex, who plays center back for my beloved Chelsea. Very good player, but…Alex? Then there are goalkeepers Victor and Jefferson, who play for Grêmio and Botafogo, respectively, in the Brazilian league. Douglas also plays for Grêmio. Lucas plays at Liverpool. Roma features the unimaginative Juan, and Wesley plays at Werder Bremen in Germany.

Yawn. Dancing with the ball? No thanks, I’ll just sit here on the couch and watch Walking with the Stars.

Then there are those who push pedestrianism to unseemly limits. Take Manchester City’s Jo. Jo? Seriously. You’re from the same country as Taffarel and Jo is the best you can come up with? And how about the Philadelphia Union’s Brazilian import, Fred. No, I’m not making that up. All the exciting names in the world and you choose Fred? Yabba dabba doo, I guess. Then there’s Wolfsburg’s Grafite. I’ve never seen him play, I don’t believe, but I hope that’s not the sexy, playful Portuguese nickname that means “a soft, steel-gray to black, hexagonally crystallized allotrope of carbon with a metallic luster and a greasy feel, used in lead pencils, lubricants, paints, and coatings, that is fabricated into a variety of forms such as molds, bricks, electrodes, crucibles, and rocket nozzles.”

Not everyone is content to leave it at pedestrian, though: witness Porto’s 24 year-old striker Givanildo Vieira de Souza, aka Hulk. Yes, Hulk. Allegedly the name arose because people thought he looked like Lou Ferrigno (which is cruel enough, if you ask me).

There are many Brazilian players I simply don’t like (Lúcio is a punk-ass crybaby and Kaká can bite me), and the truth is that as much as I respect the Seleção, I rarely pull for them in international competitions. I guess with all their success I think of them the way I do Evil Empire teams like the Yankees and Manchester United.

Despite that, however, I can’t bear watching such a beautiful culture deteriorate right before my eyes. I hope the Brazilian culture ministry will step in and begin regulating name selection by its footballers. Many of them are simply too young to be entrusted with a decision that can reflect so critically on the nation.

Otherwise, I suppose I’ll just have to get used to the next generation Canarinho and stars like Bob, Rebar and Spiderman.

“Upset,” I said. Actually, that’s a pretty mild term for this decision, which in many respects defies reason. Consider:

• Qatar is an extremely small nation with almost no soccer history of infrastructure. It certainly doesn’t have anything remotely like ten stadiums that can hold a World Cup crowd. However, this is an area overrun with oil money, so the plan is to build all the stadiums they’ll need. Then, after the Cup, they’ll disassemble them and donate them to countries that need large stadiums. I’m not making this up.
• How is all this infrastructure going to be built? Best guess: imported labor. Working in insane heat (see next bullet) and living in less-than-luxurious conditions. Don’t expect too many pictures of this process on the FIFA Web site in the coming years.
• Temperatures in July average well over a 100°F and can range far higher than that. Their solution? Air conditioning. They’re going to air condition outdoor stadiums.
• Our friend Rafael Noboa y Rivera also reminds us about the culture clash issues. World Cups tend to be popular with partiers – drunken, half-naked, frequently female partiers – while Qatar is governed by Shari’a law. This is a country so aggressively fundamentalist that it still imprisons gays. It ought to be fascinating to watch. I hope they do a massive multiplayer video game about the activity outside the stadium. And you can play either side. FIFA 2022: 21st Century vs. 14th Century. I smell money.

If you’re thinking this decision smells like meat that’s been left out in the boiling Arabian sun for a couple of days, you aren’t alone. And there are a couple of issues to be pondered. First, why Qatar? Second, why not the US?

The first question is unparsable on rational grounds. FIFA is an international organization that fancies itself a progressive promoter of humanist values (take its anti-racism endeavors, for instance), so a decision to award its signature event to a nation run by a regressive, anti-humanist code from the Dark Ages is inexplicable. And the environmental statement being made is nothing short of appalling. We used to hear a bit about the Green Goal Programme, and they’re making a very big deal about green policies at the Women’s World Cup sites. But if you Google “Green Goal Programme” and start clicking the FIFA links that come up, you’ll notice that they’re gone 404. I don’t know when or why, but this is conspicuous. FIFA passed over Holland/Belgium for the 2018 Cup (a bid that made sustainability a centerpiece of the pitch) in favor of Russia, and then awarded the 2022 event to a crew that’s promising to burn enough oil to air condition the feckin’ desert. Godzilla-sized carbon footprint, anyone?

Wow.

Then there’s part two. Because not only did FIFA not award the Cup to the nation that set the all-time attendance record in 1994 (and that has since witnessed a significant growth in the sport’s popularity), it crawled naked over a lot of jagged terrain to get away from us. Why?

Well, we may never know for sure. Suitcases full of unmarked petrodollars being slid under the table is a powerful carrot, but a few months back someone I was talking to (and I can’t remember who is was, so my apologies for not providing proper credit), pointed something else out.

America has a problem where in-bound travel is concerned. I can’t find any stats, but have heard plenty of anecdotal evidence suggesting that Homeland Security policies, which get more paranoid by the year, present an increasingly formidable barrier to gaining entry to the country. Now, think about 2022, when hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of internationals will be seeking to come here for the World Cup. And, not to put too fine a point on it, but think about where these people are coming from, in some cases, and what they look like.

In a very real sense, this would represent a great opportunity for a would-be terrorist organization seeking to either attack in a spectacular fashion or sneak in aided by the chaos. Then imagine that chaos amplified a thousand times by a security apparatus that’s under intense stress already. (Of course, one doesn’t imagine that your average al Qaeda operative would find Qatar exactly inaccessible…)

I’ve heard foreigners say that the rest of the world has had about enough of America’s bullshit when it comes to security. The rest of the free world, they say, manages these problems far better than we do. I’ve heard the same sentiments echoed by Americans who travel abroad a lot, as well.

In light of all this, the person who brought the issue to my attention argued that no way in hell would an organization like FIFA award us the Cup when it was clear we had no clue about managing the logistics associated with the influx of fans from every corner of the globe.

And this was before the whole Gate Rape fiasco exploded in the past few weeks. You figure if FIFA officials were concerned about the security question at all, then our highly publicized controversies over backscatters and pat-downs couldn’t have come at a worse time.

As I say, we may never know. And it’s been a long time since I heard anybody holding forth on the ethical purity of those who run FIFA. Maybe it has nothing to do with security or air conditioning. Maybe it’s as simple as Qatar brought more bribe money than we did.

One thing’s for sure, though. Copa 2022 is going to be interesting, and for reasons that go well beyond what’s happening on the pitch.

People ask me why I love soccer, and I tell them: because it’s the closest any sport gets to reflecting the agony and glory of life on this small orb. Now, I can point them to the last seven minutes of this game to drive the point home.

I say the last seven minutes, because within that spread of time, you saw it all.

With literally no time left in the second period of extra time, Ghana mounted one last, ferocious attack on Uruguay’s goal. Once, twice, thrice Ghana struck – and at the last, when the ball seemed headed into the back of the net, and Ghana’s Black Stars seemingly headed towards immortality, the hand of Luis Suarez got in the way.

Which would have been spectacular, except for the minor fact that Suarez is a striker, not a goalkeeper. Strikers are most definitely not allowed to use their hands. But with the game on the line, with a trip to the World Cup semifinals on the line – a place that Uruguay, a proud soccer nation, hadn’t seen in forty years – what else would you do?

The referee whistled. The crimson flashed, sealing Suarez’s doom. And the ball was placed on the penalty spot.

For the third time in this World Cup, Ghana’s Asamoah Gyan would take a penalty kick as a result of a handball in the penalty area. Two times, he had icily delivered the scoring blow. All Gyan had to do was do something that, quite literally, he’d done twice before over the last two weeks, and quite likely, millions of times before then.

Only this time, the moment was incomparably greater. Scoring this would mean Ghana would become the first African team to advance to a World Cup semifinal. Deliver the killing blow against Uruguay, and Gyan then leads Ghana against the Netherlands in three days’ time – a Netherlands team that had looked decidedly wobbly in beating Brazil.

Gyan glanced towards the goal. Fernando Muslera, Uruguay’s keeper, stood before him, the only obstacle between hope and history.

Gyan struck. Muslera dove. The ball rose.

And then struck the crossbar, and sailed off into the night, taking a whole continent’s hopes with it. Asamoah Gyan stood on the soft, well-trod grass of the field, disbelieving, poleaxed.

And Uruguay, astonishingly enough, still lived.

They took swift advantage. Forlan, Victorino and Scotti all struck home in the penalty shootout for La Celeste, as did Appiah and Gyan for Ghana, thus gaining some small measure of redemption.

Then Ghana’s Mensah missed, with a weak, mincing attempt that Muslera turned away easily. But just when Uruguay could’ve iced it, Maxi Pereira missed as well.

Ghana still lived, barely. But Adiyah failed, giving Muslera another easily-parried shot. Sebastian Abreu’s softly chipped shot, struck as Ghana keeper Richard Kingson dove the wrong way, ended the contest.

What didn’t end – and won’t end, really – is the heartbreak of a dream deferred. Deferred, not denied, because an African country will break through. And if there’s any justice, poetic, sporting or otherwise, Asamoah Gyan will hoist the World Cup in four years time.

But since when has justice proved a part of life? Life is, after all, unfair – and so is soccer.

What’s more, I expect them to defeat Uruguay and make it to the semifinals.  Uruguay, while they’re very good, didn’t particularly impress in beating South Korea 2-1. For much of the second half, they seemed on the verge of conceding a game-winning goal to the Koreans – but they didn’t, and Suarez’s wonder goal late in the day saved them. If Ghana plays against Uruguay like they did against the U.S., they will beat them.

Which brings me to the Americans.

[shakes head]

[shakes head even more emphatically]

Let me be clear, like President Obama: the U.S. will likely never have as fortuitous a road to the semifinals of a World Cup as we did this year. We were playing Ghana, it’s true, and Ghana had beaten us in 2006. But it’s Ghana we’re talking about here.

Not Germany. Not Brazil. Not Spain. Not Argentina.

Ghana.

I know that a lot of folks are approaching this loss by saying, “well, at least we got out of the group stage. Yay, us!” I’m going to disagree with that assessment. This is a disappointing result.

I first started following soccer when I was 11 years old. I read a book about the old NASL San Jose Earthquakes, and it featured several players from the Premier League team Tottenham Hotspurs. Ever since, I’ve been a Spurs fan; like the English team that got annihilated by Germany today, Spurs had their glory years in the ’60s, and have been living off those laurels since.

I got hooked on US Soccer in 1990, when they qualified for the World Cup for the first time in 40 years. From the vantage point of two decades, it’s hard to describe to someone who just started following the US Soccer team just how abysmal the state of soccer was just two decades ago.

There was no MLS. You were lucky to catch a soccer game on TV, and if you did, it was likely at 3 AM, when the only competition was Ronco products. To the degree that American players played in Europe, they tended to play for second-rank clubs.

So, when they went to Italy for the Cup, their rank inexperience showed. They got whipped soundly, finishing last in their group. And 1994 wasn’t much better – although they made it out of their group, the U.S. needed the most tragic own goal in soccer history in order to advance*.

Here’s the thing: it’s not 1990 or 1994 anymore, and we should quit treating the US Soccer team like it is.

I think that expectation, as much as anything else, is holding US Soccer back. Look at the group we were in – not only did we win the group, we outscored England, supposedly the class of the group. Meanwhile, we have a domestic league that, while still second-class, serves as a professional destination for American players looking to ply their trade and develop further.

It’s time, I think, to heighten our expectations. I’m no longer satisfied, as a fan of US Soccer, to just make it out of the group. That, at a minimum, should be the expectation going forward.

This goes beyond a coach, or a game, or even a World Cup. It goes to how the game is organized in the United States. America is the *only* country where soccer is a suburban, middle-to-upper-class sport. Everywhere else, soccer occupies the place that basketball holds here – it’s an inner city sport in Argentina, in Brazil, in Germany…everywhere.

The two biggest deficiencies the American team has are lack of defensive skill and lack of offensive firepower. Yes, I said that we outscored Germany, but what’s notable is that we expect our midfielders, especially Landon Donovan & Clint Dempsey, to score. That’s actually not normal for soccer – normally, you have your midfielders control the run of play and set the table for the strikers – in our case, Jozy Altidore and Robbie Findley.

Guess which names *weren’t* called out at this World Cup?

The same thing goes for the defensive back line. I’m going to throw out a number here. How minutes did the U.S. lead in the Cup, out of 390 played?

Try 3.

Yes, three.

We gave up the earliest and second earliest goals of the World Cup – 4 minutes in against England, 5 minutes in against Ghana. We were down 2-0 against Slovenia, before coming back to tie.

The two deficiencies go together. If you’re giving up goals early, you place way too much pressure on your offense (already deficient) to produce goals. And if you lack finishing power, you can’t take advantage of scoring opportunities when they present themselves.

As awesome as that moment was against Algeria, that’s all it was: a moment. And it’s a moment that shouldn’t even have taken place, because we whiffed on about 17 different chances to score against Algeria, and another 12 against Ghana.

Who knows how many players we’re missing out on because US Soccer doesn’t have inner city programs? Soccer is quite likely the cheapest sport to play. If they can play soccer in Brazilian favelas, then they can play soccer in Bed-Stuy.

I’ve ragged on Bill Simmons for his misunderstanding of sports, but he has a point – can you imagine Allen Iverson playing soccer at forward, with his nose for the basket? Can you imagine someone like Shane Battier, with his intelligence, playing defense?

It was those two deficiencies that were on brutal display yesterday against Ghana. We got caught napping on defense…which led to us playing from behind again…which meant we forced too many chances. It was Ghana, but it was also England, and it was Slovenia. There’s only one of those teams that we should’ve been trailing, and you know which one it is. Hint: it’s where the game was born.

This is ridiculous. I’ll close here, but to me, at least, it’s time to clean house. People are speculating about coach Bob Bradley’s tenure, but that’s missing the point. The house-cleaning has to go higher. US Soccer has a reputation for being cheap, so it’s laughable for them to say, “We’re going to win the World Cup by X year”. Seriously – the next time you hear a US Soccer official say that, you should laugh in their face, and mock them for the chumps they are.

If you want to win, you have to spend, for the most part. Until US Soccer decides to do that, I can’t take them seriously. It’s time to give the US Soccer team a US Soccer Federation worthy of their skill, effort, and dedication.

*Most tragic because it resulted in the murder of Andres Escobar, the Colombian national team captain who scored the own goal. If you haven’t seen the ESPN 30 for 30 documentary “The Two Escobars”, you’re missing out.

For those of you (paging Rick Reilly) who hate on soccer because of all the damned draws, you can rest your objections. If teams are tied after regular time, two 15 minute periods of extra time are played; if it’s still tied after that, then we go to penalty shootout. Needless to say, this makes for some truly exciting soccer.

So, quick take: This is a remarkably diverse Sweet Sixteen. It’s a sign of the increasing parity in world soccer that traditional soccer heavyweights like Italy and France (the finalists from 2006) didn’t even survive the round-robin. You want parity? Try this on: Japan and Korea made it out of group play, and could credibly advance to the semifinals. That’s like Butler playing Duke for the NCAA title.

Without further ado, onward. Previews on the flip.

URUGUAY vs SOUTH KOREA (June 26): In many ways, Korea and Uruguay are mirror images of each other, as far as the team goes.

South America’s had a phenomenal tournament, thus far. How good? Consider this: we could potentially have an all-South American World Cup semifinal round. That said, of all the South American sides, Uruguay’s likely the weakest. Because of that, though, it’s also the most likely to be underrated. They possess decent scoring ability with Diego Forlan and Luis Suarez, while captain Diego Lugano does a fine job of backstopping the defense.

As for South Korea, this is the second time they’ve made it out to the knockout stage – the other time came when they hosted the Cup 8 years ago, and made a wonder run to the semifinals. Like their Asian counterparts Japan, they’re fairly disciplined defensively, sneakily lethal on the counterattack, and pack some offensive punch. Look for Lee Jung-Soo to pace the Korean attack – he’s got 2 goals already, with Lee Dong-Gook (their leading goalscorer, with 25) to break out of his scoring slump.

It’s hard to pick a winner here, but I’m going to go with the Latin-American flow, and pick Uruguay to win 2-1 in a close, hard-fought game.

U.S.A. vs GHANA (June 26): An epic preview for what’s likely to be one of three epic matches in this round.

Oh, Africa. The hopes were so very high that this would be the World Cup where African teams – who’ve blessed the game with players like Roger Milla, Michael Essien, and Didier Drogba – would finally break through en masse to the knockout rounds.

Instead of a dream, African fans got a nightmare in the round robin? Nigeria? Gone. Cameroon? The Indomitable Lions remake got cancelled. Les Elefants won’t be dancing, and the vuvuzelas won’t be blowing for South Africa’s Bafana Bafana, the first host team to be denied a golden ticket for the Sweet Sixteen in World Cup history.

The sole survivor? The Black Stars of Ghana. That said, this is a team that’s well equipped to make a deep run and redeem African hopes. Asamoah Gyan, who’s stepped up in the absence of Ghanian wonder striker Michael Essien, roams tirelessly in the attack, always ready to pounce on a loose ball and make teams pay. Their defense is relentless, suffocating attack after attack.

They’ll be facing the U.S.A., who are making their customary every-other-Cup appearance in the knockout stages. Of all the matches in the Sweet 16, this is the most even. In no other match will the first goal tallied matter more than in this one. Bold, I know, but here’s why:

Thanks to a missing Michael Essien and an unfit Sulley Muntari, Ghana haven’t scored more than a goal in six straight matches. Their only two goals in the group round came off penalty kicks for handballs. They struggled to score not just against Germany, but even against an Australia squad that the U.S.A. shelled 3-1 while looking poor themselves. Their strategy, thus far, has been to score and then pack nine men behind the ball, while leaving Gyan to roam on rare counterattacks. Frankly, it’s dreadful, negative stuff.

Should the U.S. give up an early goal against the Black Stars, as they did in playing England and Slovenia, it’ll be phenomenally difficult for them to tally an equalizer. Should the U.S. score once or twice early on, Ghana will be hard-press to draw even, thanks to their lack of attacking prowess.

As cool as it would be to see the lone African team make a deep run, I think Ghana are too offensively deficient. As long as the American defense makes no mistakes, I favor them to avenge their controversial loss to Ghana from 2006, and defeat the Black Stars 2-0.

NETHERLANDS vs SLOVAKIA (June 28): Admit it – after Slovakia’s performance in the first two games of this World Cup, you weren’t expecting them to make it to the second round. They got stunned by a New Zealand side that came, literally, within 4 inches of shocking the world by beating Italy, and only had one shot on goal against Paraguay’s side.

Then they played Italy, and in one of the crazier games of the Cup, beat them 3-2. All it takes is one game, folks. Just like that, they were through, and Italy wasn’t, for the first time since 1974.

So, what now? Well, the truth is that Slovakia really isn’t that good of a team. They tend to play what’s now become a standard 4-2-3-1 formation, but it’s a pretty plain defense and even plainer attack, lacking much creativity. That they scored 3 goals on the Azzuri is less a testament to the Slovaks’ magnificence than to how putrid this edition of Italy’s squad was.

Now they face the Netherlands. If ever a team looked lackluster while going 3-0-0 in their group, it was them. They clearly looked as if they badly missed Arjen Robben directing the wondrous mechanics of Clockwork Orange.  Despite Robben’s absence, Wesley Sneijder keyed the attack, allowing the Oranje to run the table.

Truthfully, the wonder is a tad bit overstated – this isn’t the Netherlands of Johan Cruyff, much like Brazil isn’t the Brazil of Socrates. That said, they’re the best European team, winning all 8 of their matches in qualification, and look poised to make a deep run to at least the semis, now that Robben is back in charge.

I’m picking the Netherlands in a blowout, 4-0.

BRAZIL vs CHILE (June 28): No team faces a tougher road to the title than Brazil.

Think about it. Should they beat Chile (more on that in a second), they would potentially face the world’s second-ranked team in the Netherlands in the quarters, then have to deal with the dangerously underrated quartet of Uruguay, Korea, U.S.A. and Ghana in the semifinals, before finally facing one of Argentina, Germany, or Spain* for the championship.

And Chile? La Roja is no joke, folks. They play in a wildly unorthodox 3-3-1-3, which favors a wildly entertaining and attacking orientation. Even though they lost to Spain 2-1 to close out their group play, that was more the result of yet another goalkeeper howler, combined with a horrible red card. In that game, they wasted 3 chances in the first 20 minutes, which really should’ve seen Spain losing 2-0 and facing a shameful exit.

Instead, we’ve got the third great game of this round. I fully expect that Chile will give Brazil fits, as they ceaselessly attack…and attack…and attack some more. Luckily for Brazil, they’ve got a great defense to go with their offense, and I think that will prove to be the difference here, since Chile will be missing both of their starting central defenders, thank s to red cards.

I expect Brazil to defeat Chile 2-1, but I wouldn’t be surprised at all if Chile managed to scratch out a win here by the same tally. Chile’s that good.

ARGENTINA vs MEXICO (June 27): Look, I won’t blame you for thinking that Argentina’s coach, Diego Maradona, is insane. You wouldn’t be the only one. For starters, Maradona is fielding a lineup that’s chockfull of attackers, while missing defenders. The bet that he made, simply, was that the Albiceleste would outscore you, making up for any defensive lapses that would happen (and they have).

As badly as Argentina struggled during qualification, it seems to have come together splendidly here in South Africa. Lionel Messi, despite not having scored yet in this Cup, is clearly well-tapped as the Cup’s MVP. They were simply dominant in their group – demolishing a good Korean squad 4-1, for example.

Meanwhile, this Mexican squad is also in fine mettle. They’re young, it’s true – but with the youth comes also excitement. El Tri have shown a nose for the attack, particularly the counterattack. Mexico have the ability to pose problems for Argentina’s defense, by preying on Argentinian defender Martin Demichelis’ propensity for boneheaded play. Mexico’s defense is pretty sterling as well – witness their play against France and Uruguay.

So, it’s entirely possible that Mexico could beat Argentina, book a place in the quarters for the third time in history, and potentially go further than any Mexican team ever. They have the offense and defense to do the deed, and if they can beat Argentina, they can beat a seemingly shaky Germany, or a staggering England.

[SIDEBAR: Believe it or not, for as much as Mexicans like to woof about their supposedly great soccer pedigree, the U.S. has gone further than Mexico in the Cup, making the semis in 1930. Mexico made the quarters in 1970 and 1986, but has otherwise been lackluster. They've only been really successful, internationally, since 1994 - roughly tracking with the U.S.]

Entirely possible, but not probable. In the end, I’m expecting this to be the second great game of this round, full of open play, with plenty of scoring chances. And at the end of Mexico’s day, the sun will set on their Cup hopes with a 3-2 loss to Argentina.

GERMANY vs ENGLAND (June 27): There’s a certain kind of England fan that always looks at their contests with Germany as a rivalry, and casts that rivalry in warlike terms, hearkening back to World War II, making tired jokes about the French, the Americans and the Germans.

I understand. It’s easy to live in the kind of frozen amber that that fantasy requires, because the reality of England’s performance at the World Cup is disappointing at best, and disheartening at worst.

Consider this: since England beat Germany 4-2 to win its only Cup in 1966, Germany has made the second round every single time – 11 straight cups and counting. They’ve won two Cups, finished second four times (including ‘66), and third twice. They’ve made it to the quarters seven straight Cups. They’ve made it to the semifinals the last two Cups.

In that time, England have made the semifinals once, and failed to qualify three times. While they’ve made the quarters the last two Cups, let’s just say that the Three Lions haven’t covered themselves in glory, exactly.

Moreover, England’s record against Germany is miserable – aside from the win in 1966 for the Cup, and another in the 2000 European Championships, it’s been nothing but defeat after defeat, with the most painful coming in 1990 – the last time England made the semifinals.

That said, this could prove to be a closer match than many expect. Germany’s been shaky their last two matches, having had trouble creating chances and even greater trouble finishing them. Meanwhile, there’s a possibility that England have managed to overcome the collective funk that they found themselves in after drawing their first two games.

More than most, this is a hard match for me to read. If any match this round goes to a penalty kick shootout, it’s this one. And there’s history on my side for this: the last two times these teams have met in the knockout stages of a tournament, it’s gone that far. Both times, die Mannschaft has reigned supreme, serenely escorting the Lions out.

It ends here, it ends now, I say. I’m saying Wayne Rooney finally lives up to billing. I’m saying England beats Germany, 1-1, with the English finally winning a shootout.

PARAGUAY vs JAPAN (June 29): This game is a mystery to me. Really, it is. Both of these teams are criminally underrated.

I read once that the key to pitching in baseball was to break up the hitter’s rhythm. Well, that’s what both Paraguay and Japan do – they break their opponent’s run of play, they disrupt their rhythm, with their disciplined play on defense. Then, once they score, their style of play forces teams to panic and overcommit on offense, thus opening up more attacking lanes for Paraguay/Japan to counterattack. And…score!

Now you’re panicking – waitwaitwait, are we really losing 2-0 to PARAGUAY/JAPAN? REALLY? And just as you’re setting the table for a score to draw within 1 goal, suddenly you’re backpedaling, suddenly you’re seeing the ball settle gently within the goal a third time, as your keeper stretches desperately, vainly, to prevent the goal. Now you’re down 3-0, and your day is over.

Rinse, repeat, finis.

What’s interesting to me is that I don’t know who wins this game – it’s going to be a real chess match of a game, and it wouldn’t surprise me a bit to see this a 0-0 draw going into extra time. But eventually, someone will break. What I don’t know is if it will be Japan or Paraguay breaking.

I’m leaning towards Paraguay here, given that they play against Brazil and Argentina regularly, rather than the minnows that Japan plays in Asia. I think Paraguay’s greater experience at the World Cup is the difference here, and the Guaranis take advantage, 1-0.

SPAIN vs PORTUGAL (June 29): Congratulations. You’ve made it. This is the end of the preview. Too bad that it’s a preview of a match likely to contend with Netherlands v Slovakia for worst match of this round.

Spain had really high expectations going into this World Cup. They’d been unbeaten in 45 out of their 46 previous games, their only loss coming in the 2009 Confederations Cup against the U.S.A. Their last game before the Cup began was a 6-1 romp over Poland. La Furia was the hipster choice for World Cup favorites.

And then…and then it came crashing down with a 1-0 loss to Switzerland. Let’s get one thing clear: there’s negative soccer, where offenses sputter and die, and then there’s what Switzerland plays, which is closer to a black hole, where soccer goes, never to be seen again.

They recovered to beat Honduras and Chile to win their group, but one senses that this Spanish team feels vulnerable, shorn of their innocence, waiting for the inevitable heartbreak that’s a hallmark of Spanish soccer (before their Euro 2008 title, Spain had gone 44 years without winning a title of any kind).

Now they face a Portugal squad that’s the antithesis of everything good about soccer, led by soccer’s equivalent of Alex Rodriguez, Cristiano Ronaldo. This is a squad that never fails to become intimately acquainted with the ground, thanks to their propensity to dive when breathed upon. Indeed, this tendency gave me one of my favorite moments of the Cup: Brazil’s Luiz Fabiano hectoring Portugal’s Pepe to get his punk ass off the ground and quit diving in their game today.

Here’s the thing, though: as witnessed by their 7-0 thrashing of North Korea, Portugal can play awesome, attacking soccer that’s fun to watch. That said, even that win was sour, having every element of watching a bully pound a hapless kid into the ground.

That’s why you can’t root for Portugal. There’s something deeply wrong about the way they play, something fundamentally corrupt and rotten and putrid. It’s the kind of insecure game that only posers and guys who roofie drinks play, and it deserves every ounce of derision possible.

If there’s any justice to be had in this game, Spain wins. Luckily for us, Spain is going to pound Portugal’s sorry ass into the ground. Look for Spain to win 2-0, in a game that really should be 3-0 or 4-0. And if the soccer gods are listening, 7-0.

That’s all she wrote. If things go as I expect, the quarters will feature some truly awesome matchups. Tell me who you pick in the comments.

*I’m not kidding. As I detail in the post, anyone can come out of that bracket, and it wouldn’t be ludicrous. Japan & Paraguay are solid squads, England could snap back into qualification form, and it bears remembering that Portugal are ranked third in the world. That side of the bracket is murderous.

Howard; Cherundolo, DeMerit, Bocanegra (c), Bornstein; Donovan, Bradley, Edu, Dempsey; Gomez, Altidore

And here’s the ALG lineup: Mbolhi; Bougherra, Halliche, Yahia (c); Kadir, Yebda, Lacen, Belhadj; Matmour, Djebbour, Ziani.

All in all, an attacking lineup. Missing from it: Oguchi Onyewu, who, frankly, has had a rollercoaster World Cup performance. The eyebrow raiser? Jonathan Bornstein, who’s been much maligned for his poor play.

I’m picking the U.S. to beat Algeria 2-0 in what should be a tense, taut game. Algeria’s actually had a decent World Cup; they’re one goalkeeper howler (by Chaouchi, who’s been replaced) from having back-to-back clean sheets. It’s vital that we don’t give up an early, easy gimme goal. If we win, and England & Slovenia draw, we win Group C, which means we should have a marginally easier opponent in the next round.

Leave your pick in the comments.